That is the most logical step, now that I have a sound horse again right? Well sure it is. Just hop on and go, right?
Except....
An email conversation with a friend recently brought to light a few things rattling around in my brain. It is something that several other bloggers have alluded to as well, and I think to some extent, all of us have felt twinges of uncertainty around horses.
Here is an example of several things that have crossed my mind since Sonny Bunz' Great Escape.
- I don't think I *know* this horse- this is the first time I have known him that he has not been in any kind of pain. In fact, in all honesty, I have to wonder if Sonny knows who HE is right now, considering he is quite young himself and has been uncomfortable for a while now.
If any of you have suffered a severe injury, and I know there are a lot of us out there, the mere *memory* of pain is enough to affect our actions and movements for quite some time. Once the pain is gone, and we start to realize it is gone for good, we then enter into a new phase of conditioning and development. Often times, we need to relearn how to do things over again. I have seen small evidence of this in the past, in horses known in passing. Now knowing Sonny for an extended period of time, I am seeing a whole new horse emerge. This is also common in young horses as they grow and mature. In this case, I have a bouncing baby boy who now knows he no longer hurts, now knows he is able to move and party, and he is testing the water so to speak.
- For those of us who are Mom's, those little eyes looking up at us and smiling, those little arms that wrap around us and gush with utter devotion and unconditional love affect us tremendously. The first thought? "Man if I get hurt, who is going to be there for this child?" The second thought, at least in my case having two little dudes to look after, is "How can I get time to ride on a consistent basis, when these two little buggers rock and roll, and one of them has powers of levitation AND teleportation?" Even with Dear Husband home, it takes about 8 adults at times to keep these two in check. Add in Jo The Wonder Nanny Dog, who is just plain ODD at times, and riding time tends to be quite frustrating. At least Jo The Wonder Nanny Dog can be closed in the house. The Little Mens? No way. I wouldn't have a house STANDING at the end of a 45 minute horse session.
Next on my list, which crossed my mind tonight as we worked on the lunge line again and did some other ground work, was the ground work itself.
There are a few folks out there who seem to deride ground work. All they want the horse to do on the ground is stand tied, lead, and be tacked up, and know basic lunging.
All well and good, if that is what you want.
I, however, am going to look at this from another angle. First, the horse that I have before me today is essentially a *New* Horse inside and out. Secondly, he is fresh and I am *Not* by any stretch of the imagination. Thanks to the kids, and the complications that came along with their pregnancies, I have not spent time actively ON a horse in oh... let's see here now... Four years? Yep- FOUR years. That makes ME quite a bit older than I was before. And we won't even *think* about fitness levels, and *shape*. This horse is going to have to learn a few things before we think about going back to active under saddle work.
The arguments that those things can be learned while under saddle, well, y'all hold that thought kids.
Thirdly.... ahhh thirdly.
Thirdly is I want a WHOA on that colt from my voice before I pull my aging and tired old body up on that 16 hand fire cracker. Maybe it is just a placebo for my brain to boost confidence. Maybe it stands in solid fact. I don't know- but either way before we start doing more than our 5 minutes of puttering around in the yard, that colt best know WHOA when I say it and he best plant his rump in the dirt if need be!
The friend I was chatting with suggested a trainer, or someone I trust to be my ground person. Both excellent ideas, and in fact, it made me bummed out. Why? Because the two people that I trust with my life when it comes to working horses are: NOT HERE (ie: my Very Best Friend in the World next to Dear Husband, lives far, far away now,) and the OTHER person that I trust with my life is chasing after our children.
This is going to sound quite bad, but in my limited exposure to people here in the equine community, I have not met anyone that I would place my trust in. I've had a few lessons here and there, watched a couple handle horses, and let's just say the search for a trainer for me will continue...
Can things be learned "just" under saddle and not so much on the ground? Sure they can. Is it the smart thing in *this* case? Yeah, umm...not so much, no.
The moral of this somewhat wandering story today? Confidence. Building confidence. Building a working relationship- NOT just a trust-me-because-I-feed-you relationship. A trust-me-because-I-can-guide-you-safely-through-my-requests relationship. Building confidence in ME that yes, this aging and changed body CAN do this, that I CAN still ride, that the fond memories of yesteryear are based in fact. For me, that confidence is built day by day, step by step, re-establishing that Working Relationship on the ground with this horse.
Will we step up and ride? Oh Hell Yeah. And we even have some basic goals lined up for The Big Red One AND myself.
Now if we can just tweak that darn saddle fit just a tad more... (I have to pause here and say a HUGE and hearty THANK YOU to MiKael. One of her stunning Arabian Horse's has a back that is startlingly similar to Sonny's, and she has been a tremendous help to me in sorting out how to fit this blasted saddle to an ever changing back. MiKael, You Rock!)
Stay Tuned y'all, things here are just starting to get really good!
22 comments:
I hear you about confidence...I am struggling with it myself on the Appy (and about getting back on Gen after a 3 year retirement). I know you are going to hate to hear this but I needed to my trainer there with me to push me just the right amount. Just give the kiddos some cold medicine so they sleep so your hubby can help you out (just teasing). I think you need to find a trainer in your area that you like and trust. I think you should start asking around and watching lessons. Sometimes just having someone tell us we know we are doing the right thing is all we need.
Hello, I just clicked over to this blog and then realized that you are Mrs. Mom! Your blog is great. I totally agree about the kids. On the safety issue, it usually does not make a difference to your training outcome, to find a way to do something with safety in mind; but it is worth it to be able to sleep at night. Actually, it's usually better for the horse too. As far as scheduling goes, I am SO there with you...trying to fit our horses in along with everything else. Not easy. Sometimes I get my kids involved in my groundwork training--they're very good at providing distractions for sacking out. I've sent them around with umbrellas, plastic bags, long branches...basically "go make a ruckus outside the paddock." It's a tailor-made job for a kid! Even if your horse has already been there, done that, it might be a good way to test the water with your rejuvenated young guy.
Oh my! I hear you, too. I'm a huge believer in installing a "whoa" - I want four feet planted on the ground when I say it whether I'm on them or next to them.
I'd agree with what On The Bit has to say about trainers pushing just that little extra bit that we need sometimes. But I think you're right, too - your gut is telling you Sonny needs to figure out who he is again. Taking it slow for both of you sure wouldn't hurt, and if you can check out a lesson or three, or a clinic along the way, why not enjoy that, too! :)
So glad you've got your big boy going sound!
Yup, I hear ya. I am not the fearless teenager I used to be. The Big Horse and I had a serious accident about six years ago (my bad judgement on poor footing and jump turn radius for a big horse instead of a catty little arab). It took a few weeks to mend the bruised up body and a few months to fix my spotty memory.
Long term though, it affects the level of trust we have in each other to this day. He used to be the horse who would do anything I asked because I asked. You'd think after all this time we'd have that figured out again, but unfortunately we both have a little uncertainty in each other's abilities still. Hope that if we can get back to 3 days of riding a week this summer (a frequency we haven't been at for years) it will iron itself out once and for all.
Heck, maybe that's why I'm looking forward to some play rides on that short little pony, he's a lot closer to the ground. It's practically fun to get dumped at that height. hahahaha!
Oh, and on the WHOA. It's not a crutch. I'm reworking brakes instead of go on all my guys. The importance of it is sometimes overlooked in my english disciplines (at least from what I've seen here), but I have a whole new appreciation for it lately.
Listen to that little nagging voice in your gut. It's right more often than not.
Good luck as you get rolling with Sonny!
I understand the pause. The other day I was riding and I suddenly thought of Rapunzel up in her tower with her messed up knee. I had this overwhelming desire to dismount, because the thought of being laid up for weeks or months was more than I was willing to gamble with, but I pushed on and finished my ride without incident. The thought is always there in the back of one's mind, though. Could today be the day where something goes tragically wrong? It doesn't surprise me that so many horse bloggers come from some background of faith, because sometimes I think it takes a strong faith in some power beyond ourselves to keep on riding horses. On the other hand, we're just as likely to break something by slipping on ice. Well... not YOU in your warm, southern state.
There is nothing wrong with establishing a good working relationship on the ground.
(if for no other reason than to shore up your confidence)
I'm going to hijack you with a hoof question - what causes flaring?
I too, am having some confidence issues as I look to start Riley, our little mule, more formally this summer. She is sweet, but she can be quite a handful and I am not getting any younger. At least I don't have to worry about being laid up with young ones around. good luck and may God bless your endeavour.
Ohhhh, I never thought about this aspect of things MM. In all this time, it just never dawned on me that Sonny might change once he became whole and sound again...plus add in you guys are starting into spring.
I don't know why I never thought about it though. That is one of the most common things people run into when they re-habilitate horses. Something that was so sweet when they were not feeling good or thin or in pain DOES NOT always stay the same docile creature we become so accustomed too.
However, this is not your first trip around the block, so I have no doubt you have a game plan in mind. And will have Mr. Wheee-I'm-Sound-Again whipped into shape in no time.
I too hadn't thought of this either! You will get it all worked out and be back on his back in no time! I do know what you're saying about getting hurt though. It diffetnly makes you think twice! That is why I've layed off riding other peoples horses right now!
A WHOA is a must! I want a horse to have a stop in him no matter what. If I don't have that, we aren't going to progress to anything other than a walk till I get a solid stop. That is so important and not a silly idea at all.
HUGS to you and know if I where closer I would come help you with Sonny Bunz in a minute!
I have one horse I lounge, Preacher, if you don't he will dump you in the dirt if he is fresh. I lounge a new horse I take in for riding for almost 1 week, before I step on, look at the horse, watch him and evaluate him. Then it is slow work, like with Grey it was about a week after I rode him before I asked for any speed. I was wanting to reconfirm the basics. You'll get there I have confidence in you! Love ya!
OH forget about the kids thing! Of course Savannah is older now, but when I ride and she is here she has to stay in the pasture or right in the back yard where I can see her. She has her trampoline and swing set and just plays away! She know has gotten to wear she rides her bike in the pasture while I ride. I also use her to help with training too, rolling the ball at us, making noise, etc. But 2 little boys no the less, hmmmm.
Hey MM! I'm sorry, I laughed when I read about the house not standing after 45 minutes with the kids! I can SO relate! I have the feeling if your two and my two ever got together, there would just be a blackened smoking hole where the house once stood, and 4 pairs of innocent eyes looking at us saying, "who, us?"!
I think you are 100% correct that Sonny himself is amazed at his newfound powers of "I don't hurt anymore". And taking it slowly, step by step just as you did in his healing process will help temper his enthusiasm.
Have you gone to any horse shows in your area lately and just watched the different trainers work with their students? Even stopping by any local riding schools and saying you just want to listen to the lessons as you are looking for a trainer and want to see if someone there would be right for you. Sometimes that's a good way to find someone who you may like.
I know what you mean about finding the right person is not easy. For me, at my age and experience, to take a lesson from anyone other than my long-time trainer requires a lot of observation. If I don't respect this person's level of experience, it will NOT work. But I did move outside my comfort zone and take dressage lessons with Miss D last summer and I really liked her. I found her through friends who said she was a nice trainer and like her very much. They told me to come by and watch her ride at a dressage show coming up at the stable nearby where I board. I went over, watched her ride and was impressed how she handled the green horse in the 2nd level test. After we were introduced I felt comfortable with her skillset and attitude. It worked out great.
LOL, maybe we should challenge each other a little, you nudge me to keep looking for the right horse, and I'll push you on a mission to look for the right instructor.
http://crazyhorsewoman.blogspot.com/
First~
I have sent you this link because a few posts back she did an amazing set of blogs about fear and horses. It is something we all experience once in awhile ( especially if we are older and have been hurt quiet badly). I think you;d get quite a lot from them. I've been riding over fifty years and I thought they were excellent.
2~ I am a firm believer in ground work in all things. It builds a solid foundation and you get a lot accomplished from the ground. I include de-spooking exercises and long line driving on all my babies( and I have literally ridden over 100 horses).
I also go back to basic ground work on horses that need to be retrained, or refreshed. All my horses know voice commands as well as reins and leg cues- and I have a lot fewer wrecks by doing things this way. I still recommend you get another 'younger' or experienced rider to give your first ride- you can be on the ground with the long rein, or they can be on the ground with the long rein- but it gives everyone a little more confidence that way.
3~
And if this is a horse that is going to be YOUR HORSE who cares if it takes a little longer to get him broke? Too many people want to go fast- get them 'broke' because it is the thing to do. I say nonsense! MY gelding is eight. I bought him as a long yearling and started doing ground work. I sent him out for thirty days when he was four- I've been riding him ever since.He's not 'all broke' I work on things every day. But he's MINE and I don't care how long it takes. I want him like I want him!
Good luck!
Oh and just one more thing- I don't think that horses have the capacity to anticipate pain. They live in the moment. If they feel good, it's going to show. If they feel bad it's going to show-
Just ride the horse you have on that day!
I totally get your hesitance. Our old girl's 23, 24ish and we got her about 150lbs underweight. We were also boarding at a horrible place not feeding the horses correctly. They were all so complacent. Well, after a month of REAL and regular food, we look out and see this 23 year old acting like a two year old, running and bucking and kicking up a storm. We were like uhhh ohhh!! I think you are absolutely correct to do the ground work first, if not to instill manners, to at least test the waters and see how he's changing daily.
Take your time, but make sure you do get up there. It'll be fine. You're right to give it lots of thought, but you'll be fine. Or make a deal with someone, you do some trims, they ride your horse a few times, with you supervising...
I can totally relate! Establish that "Whoa!".
Oh my goodness, you and I have the same things going on. It never fails, when I want to go and ride, I either have two boys totally distroying somthing, or my little girl trying to ride with me. It's hard. I even paid a Nanny for a while to come and watch my kids so I could ride. That was nice, until I got bucked off. Sigh......
The weird thing aboug being a mom, is that my gut says to not ride. To keep my feet on the ground and don't get hurt. It's really hard to get one my 4 year old gelding and ride him. I will ride the 20 year old gelding with no problem. It's just hard to NOT be nervous on the colt. UHG>.....so frustrating. I want to ride, but I just can't. sigh......
I can't wait to see pictures of you and Sonny Bunz riding off into the sunset!! It will be great!!
You are definitely not alone in your thoughts on these things!!
One of the reasons why I am a bit adament about not riding strange horses is that I don't need to get hurt, plain and simple.
I am single, work 2 jobs, and have several animals to support (including my horse). If I get hurt and layed up, then I can't work. If I can't work, I can't pay the bills. If I can't pay the bills then what will happen to my life? What will happen to the animals I LOVE? Nothing is worth that risk...NOTHING! (certainly NOT the opinions of someone who thinks I should just jump on up there without any ground preperation).
I also have the same argument when people look at me funny for wearing my helmet when I ride. My BRAIN is important to me and so is my safety.
You need to feel confident in your horse and yourself before you climb aboard. Period. ..and you should do whatever it takes to get there, regardless of what anyone else thinks. The level of confidence needed is different for every person and so is the time it takes to get there.
If someone doesn't like doing groudwork with their own horses -FINE- they are not training YOUR horse, nor are they riding him/her.
They can do whatever they like with their own horses.
A good person won't criticize or judge that way. A good person will be encouraging and will celebrate all of your victories with you, no matter how big or small.
No one gets any younger in this life and life is too short. You SHOULD take however much time it takes to feel confident. It will only make the end result that much sweeter!
Good Luck and keep us updated on how things are going :)
Riding so many different horses in the course of a month or two, I start all of them with ground work. It doesn't matter if they are the most well broke horse in the world. Ground work establishes a relationship with the horse and I find out who they are and what they know without getting dumped.
The one time I trusted one that I would have sworn would never do anything wrong, I got thrown hard. And yes, the fear is still there and probably always will be. I will never trust him 100%.
I also agree with you on the whoa. I want a whoa that means something no matter what we are doing.
Everything you have said is true. Just remember, Sonny has no deadlines and there's no reason you should put pressure on yourself. You're working on building a relationship with him every day and you can take as long as you need to be able to feel safe with him.
I'm with Vaquero girl, in that I think that if you can't find someone you trust to help you when you are on Sonny, it would be easier to find a young person to climb on for a few rides.... after you have done the ground work you need to do in order to get the trust and leadership issues sorted out. One can never do too much groundwork.
My husband has had a bit of hesitation with his horse until we took riding lessons and now he has more confidence under saddle.
This was a great post, thank you!
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