WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot Friday

WARNING:

This post is NOT horse related.

This post DOES contain reference to my favorite tool

A Mossberg Shotgun

It ALSO contains SHOOTING the shotgun.

So if you don't LIKE shotguns, snakes, screaming, Mrs Mom pissing herself kind of stories,

I strongly suggest you move along.

Nothing to see here, folks. 

That's right. What you read above? Yeah- Mrs Mom is in love with a Mossberg and seriously mega underwhelmed with fricken snakes right now.

This is the second time in a matter of weeks the Mossberg has been pressed into service to save us from something slithery. The first time I pulled the trigger (lots) and took out one. Tonight Dear Husband pulled the trigger a few times and took out four.

Not one

Not two

Not three.

Four.

On my elevated freaking front porch.

Seee.... it goes like this. Every night, we wrangle the boys into the shower. While they shower, I round up jammies, lock doors, adjust lights, potty dogs and bring in the DAT. 

Tonight STARTED that way and went fine- right up until the "Bring in the DAT" part. I opened the front door to see her perched on the railing, looking... well, psychotic. Not an unusual look for her by any means- so I - in my bare feet- clomped out onto the porch to get her down from the railing and bring her in. My normally placid (she's psychotic but not aggressive or dangerous) DAT was having none of it. I picked her up and she growled and hissed and me, clawing (DAT has claws? For real? She never uses them on us or the kids!) Having no choice (since keeping my intestines IN my abdomen was a priority) I let her go. She scrambled back onto the porch rail, fixating on something on the floor, about three feet from my bare toes. 

I turned my head to look and Viola! Snake. 

I screamed for Dear Husband- "HOLY FRICKEN SHIT--- SNAKE!" Which of course sent the kids into a frenzy. Dear Husband moseyed over, thinking "rat snake scaring the bejeepers out of the wife". Yeah.. umm.. not so much.

I was hiding on the other side of the porch. DAT was up on the railing, grumbling and very unimpressed. And Dear Husband was able to determine indeed this was NOT a rat snake but an eastern diamond back rattle snake WHO DID NOT RATTLE. 

He stomped his foot, the snake slithered away initially, and I made it in the door (DAT was on her own for the moment- I had to contain 2 stupid dogs.) Mossberg was retrieved and fired.

So.

One dead snake. Dear Husband stayed on the front porch to keep an eye on it and make sure neither of the dogs got near the head, and I went out the back door to round up tools to move the carcass with. (Carcass- yes. It was 4' long.) Rake and hoe in his hands, I hear him say some dirty words. (OK so between us? We BOTH said a lot of wirty dords tonight.) I hear, THWACK THWACK THWACK.... more grumbling and muttering... and he says, "Come here and hold the shotgun- cover me. There were 3 more small ones in the corner under the leaves."

So. Georgia peeps. Remember earlier this year when I posted the info about the massive rattle snake out by Fort Stewart (the over 7' long one) that did not rattle? Guess what. It's true. There are rattle snakes around that are not rattling. Watch where you are stepping out there folks. 

Four freaking rattle snakes on my front porch. Kids, in and out all day long, in bare feet. Cats, dogs, me.. in and out, all day long. Door open to catch the breeze today because it was so very very nice out. All day long. Good Lord was watching over us cause there is no telling how long those snakes had been out there, or how close any of us had come to potential harm. 

New rule at The Asylum. No one goes out, no animals go out unless I or Dear Husband clear the porch first. 

Fall is here. Critters are fuzzing up. Critters are seeking warm places to hole up. At this rate it could be a very long long fall/ winter indeed.

Note to self: get more shotgun shells.

~MM